Undertow

Girl behind the screen
I see you in my most terrifying dreams
Where the smile on your face
Brings light into my darkest place

The world is a beautiful place
A little more so since I came across your page
I wish I wasn't so afraid
But you made feel strong and brave

Sorry I didn't come by
I wrote this poem to tell you why
I felt the undertow
The sweetest currents pulling me below

Maybe I should've just let myself drown

I'm Ok

This is the empty moment where I used to stop and pray
It's there as a reminder that I'm helpless everyday
My instincts tell me something that the past has proved untrue

Everyone you show up for will do the same for you

I say nobody knows me but I'm the one who set the scene
The world outside is watching only what I let them see
Apparitions passing by floating careless through my life
Blurry photo in my phone they don't even try to hide

I'm frozen by the choices I'm still choosing not to make
I'm haunted by an army of the chances I don't take
So drown me in the river that was supposed to cleanse me
Until I find my way again I'll stick to just pretending

Because I Have To

Sitting by myself inside this empty house, where I chose to be
This barren tile prison, I used to call it home, feels so alien to me
My phone keeps going off, will it ever stop? Can I ever be free?
From the feeling that I failed even though I gave every part of me

Still I go to greet what's next
With no hopes and no regrets

You still live in my head where one question always lingers: Will you be ok?
I see you getting stronger while my days just get longer, let me waste away
I tried to make you see what I wanted to believe was always there
It’s so hard to be angry (at someone) when you know they really did care

Still I go to greet what's next
With no hopes and no regrets
Because I have to