Version of You

You're the only one who can save you
The only one who will carry you through
You're the only one who's felt your pain
The only vessel that can contain

Who you are

Right now it feels like the end is near

But one day this path will look so clear

And there's one thing that will always be true

You're the only one who gets to be the version of you

That survived

You're alive

And you're so damn strong

Undertow

Girl behind the screen
I see you in my most terrifying dreams
Where the smile on your face
Brings light into my darkest place

The world is a beautiful place
A little more so since I came across your page
I wish I wasn't so afraid
But you made feel strong and brave

Sorry I didn't come by
I wrote this poem to tell you why
I felt the undertow
The sweetest currents pulling me below

Maybe I should've just let myself drown

I'm Ok

This is the empty moment where I used to stop and pray
It's there as a reminder that I'm helpless everyday
My instincts tell me something that the past has proved untrue

Everyone you show up for will do the same for you

I say nobody knows me but I'm the one who set the scene
The world outside is watching only what I let them see
Apparitions passing by floating careless through my life
Blurry photo in my phone they don't even try to hide

I'm frozen by the choices I'm still choosing not to make
I'm haunted by an army of the chances I don't take
So drown me in the river that was supposed to cleanse me
Until I find my way again I'll stick to just pretending

Because I Have To

Sitting by myself inside this empty house, where I chose to be
This barren tile prison, I used to call it home, feels so alien to me
My phone keeps going off, will it ever stop? Can I ever be free?
From the feeling that I failed even though I gave every part of me

Still I go to greet what's next
With no hopes and no regrets

You still live in my head where one question always lingers: Will you be ok?
I see you getting stronger while my days just get longer, let me waste away
I tried to make you see what I wanted to believe was always there
It’s so hard to be angry (at someone) when you know they really did care

Still I go to greet what's next
With no hopes and no regrets
Because I have to

Dark Crystal

Like a star you glisten through the unfathomable space between us

Yet somewhere deep and cold you dance graceful among the chaos

Swirling lonely in the void, the most beautiful daughter born from the nothingness

What immeasurable fortune that I would rise from the clay in this fleeting moment

Be there no maker, loving or cruel, then I should decide my fate was always to behold you

Parts Work

On my own two feet again
And I'm stumbling - over the lessons I should have already learned

On my own two feet again
And I'm walking - on the coals that I lit, and it burns

On my own two feet again

Nothing's easy - someday soon it's gonna' be my turn

I'm tired, I inhale

Let's do this for one more day

I'm strong, I exhale

It takes so much work to stay this way

 

On my own two feet again
And I'm losing - the weight I should never have gained

On my own two feet again
They sold me - the freedom, but didn't mention the pain

On my own two feet again
Have mercy - it's so cold but I want to feel the rain

I'm tired, I inhale
Let's do this for one more day
I'm strong, I exhale
It takes so much work to stay this way

Son, Burn

Covered by the blood yet still bleeding

Compelled to inhale; shamed for breathing

Drown! O, mistake I created

Compelled to ponder; taught to hate it

Disciple of failure, follow my word

I demand you ascend to elevations absurd

The dust on my boots, so easy you turn

To the rot in my roots: son, burn