I'm Kenny, welcome to my blog. This is the place where I post my writing which is mostly Poetry and Song Lyrics. If you are here then you must be some random lurker who is deep in an internet rabbit hole or someone I love and trust, as this is not a place I have shared with many people in my life. 

When I write, I do so with the mindset of capturing in words the most raw and honest picture of a specific feeling/moment. While these feelings can tend to be dark and negative, it is important to consider that I am writing about how I've felt, not necessarily about how I feel. In short, I am okay, I love myself, and I am certain the future holds many beautiful moments to come. 

Thanks for reading, I hope you find something you connect with in my work. Check out the links below for other stuff I do.

Links:

Personal TikTok (Random Stuff, Book Reviews, Music)

Personal Instagram (Life Stuff, Music)

My Emo Band "Midheal" (EP Releasing soon)

Swiftly, Calmly

A new command from my stupid thoughts
An echoed rattling in my head
Feed the fire broken pieces
Of what I promised I’d leave dead

You are worth the pain of the hungry flames
But my skin was always scared to burn
Now they choke on what I never had
And grow cold with what I never learned

This, a silent apology
You're not a metaphor at all
You are real but getting farther
As I swiftly, calmly fall

Azurite

Please promise me you’ll never know
How a distant star can so brightly glow
Please promise me you’ll never see
A sky so blue behind clouds so pink

Please promise me you’ll never hear

A distant rain gently drawing near

Please promise me you’ll never feel
A dream so warm it’s almost real

These promises can be only lies

Since I wandered deep, your azure eyes
To keep these words or let them go?

Please promise me you’ll never know

Isn't That Just a Fancy Word for Feeling "Bummed Out"?

If it keeps me up at night
Then it must be alright
If it makes it hard to breathe
Then you'd think it'd be easy to see
If I feel it in my deep down in my bones
Why am I still all alone
If my bones are so hollow and light
Why the hell can't I flap my arms and fly

They say trust your gut
Well, my gut is an ignorant slut

They say it's coming when I least expect
But every close call turns into a wreck
They say you'll know when you feel it
But how can I know what's real if
I'm always feeling it, always healing it
Always laughing and crying and reeling in
Lines that I swear were fighting me once
Now are bare as the place where I used to feel love

They say trust your gut
Well, my gut is an ignorant slut

Fuck

Glove Compartment

Oceans have passed since we've crossed paths
That's how it feels
I guess you don't need me unless you can see me
I'm not real
I'm not too proud to say out loud
Now that I'm healed
The ugly truth is when I needed you
Your lips were sealed

Well I don’t love you anymore
And I wonder did you even notice?

I wish you the best, and all the rest
I guess that's true
What good is the anger if you're just a stranger
Passing through?
Though I still wonder if a distant thunder
Is some kind of proof
I had to love you, the way you loved me
So now I do

And I don’t love you anymore
And I wonder did you even notice?
And if you noticed did you even care?

Enucleation

My greatest fear
Is that my greatest fear is wrong
That the thing I couldn't do
Was easy all along
That I was too blind to see
That I was strong

My greatest regret
Is that I didn't sing along
When the music was still playing
When the lights were still on
That when I was finally ready
The moment was gone

Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, etc.

I would think you a dream

If I was capable of dreaming something

So perfectly sweet

And so exquisitely soul crushing

I would think you to blame

But I welcomed the "curse" you placed on me

So perfectly sanguine

I'm so exquisitely weak

I'm on the other side

Of the picture I saved of you in the

Warm golden light

Of a sunset I'll never see

You're the only one who makes me feel this

Like my heart can't wait to be torn in two

I say your name three times in the mirror

But you never come through

O, how I wish you'd come through

The View from the Whole Foods Parking Lot

Fire in the sky
Are you the clouds, the color, or the light?
Song of the ocean tides
Are you the surf, the sand, or the fight?
Violet abyss
Are you the clouds, the color, or the mist?
Deep unspoken wish
Are you the hope, the fear, or the kiss?

Heaven is this moment
Hell is letting it pass

What We Do In the Shadows

Is it wrong to lie to someone who’d rather hear it
To play the part of who they wish you’d be?
Is it wrong to run from someone who wants to chase you
Just for them to finally catch then release?
Is it wrong to hurt someone who wants to hurt you
Just to ease some pain that they’ll never let you see?
Is it wrong to kill someone who hopes you die
In the middle of the night while you dream?

Is it wrong to want
The greatest sin is to want
Love to come easy

One Hour Compilation

You tremble like a star
So pretty but so far
Beyond this broken world
You swirl and swirl and swirl

Long forgotten child
Forced to wander, brave and wild
Your purpose in this world
Is to swirl and swirl and swirl

My light is growing dim
Adrift when I used to swim
Goodbye my darkened world
I swirl and swirl and swirl

Juliana

Reach through my skin
With your perfect hands
Tell me I am something
That I don't believe I am
Wander through my alleyways
Acquaint with all my thieves
Pick citrus from my orchards
Then rest in my dead leaves

I want to read every page
And then start again
I want to hate your enemies
And love all your friends
I'll clean all the windows
In your little shop downtown
When it's time to lock the doors at night
We'll be more than what we found

The Defeat of the Emerald Weapon

It's a word, It's a phrase
It's a song, It's a place
It's a scent, familiar face
It's a breeze on a perfect day

It's a birth, it's a wedding
It's a joke that I'm forgetting
It's what I didn't say now I'm regretting
It's the eerie calm as the sun is setting

My world keeps getting colder
As your fire begins to smolder
Though this pain is never over
I thought I felt your hand on my shoulder

Yes it hurts, it always does
It's a cruel world without your love
But when I'm here, like a drug
I find comfort in the burning blood

It's a reminder that you're still living in my blood

Hot Cocoa Ice Cream Sandwich

The reality is this
You could break me with a kiss
Turn me in on my hungry heart
Watch me tear myself apart

The reality is this
I'm as frail as my cheapest wish
A coward with brave words
The more they echo, the more absurd

The reality is this

The worst case could still be bliss

I'm too busy spinning out

Driven by a reasonable doubt

The reality is this

You can't hold what you wont let slip

I got so good at seeing the signs

That now they haunt me all the time

I Wanted You Dead, and O' How I Dreamt of It

I wanted you dead, and O' how I dreamt of it
The wind of your last breath warm on my cheek
You are a blight, a scourge on my holy earth
Vile, pathetic, pitiful, weak

I wanted you dead, and O' how I dreamt of it
Cleansed of your curse as you fade off to sleep
Mercy you cry, mercy I never show
But you keep on rising back up from the deep

You say I need you, but I tried to send you away
What good is this mirror, just shards on the floor

I feel your aching, I feel your shame

I don't want this dead weight anymore

I wanted you dead, and O' how I dreamt of it

Caught in some nightmare just watching you bleed

I followed the lessons taught by my past

And became the beast from which I was freed

I know I need you, I'm sorry I sent you away

Please bring me the pieces I completely ignored

I'll heal your aching, you heal my shame

I don't want this blind hate anymore

In the light of the torch I brought to burn you alive

I see that you are me and I don’t want you to die

I want you to live, and O' how I dream of it

Lemon Dependence

Jessica Williams, you gave me your number but I didn't call
I wonder how you felt while your phone sat and did nothing at all
Well, in much the same way I was lying on my bedroom floor, frozen in fear
The fear that I wasn't worth you, so sure I would hurt you and leave you in tears

It was nearly fall when Autumn called and asked "What was wrong with me?"
I could have died thinking of all the nights she cried while I was sound asleep

She had sky blue eyes, a radiant smile, and she made me laugh

But I didn’t love myself enough to love someone who might love me back

You glow like a fresh snow reflecting the moonlight on a clear winters eve

I know you're not flawless, but everything about you was perfect to me

After all these years, after all this pain, I thought that I would at least be strong

But I'm still the same, the things I should just say, become lyrics in a throwaway song

Nashville Parthenon

Orange moon sinking slow
You taught me everything I know
Damp fall air and ocean's glow
You're still with me everywhere I go

Silent stars floating passed

Fireflies like mirrored glass

Fast asleep in shaded grass

A treasured moment never lasts

Is it bitter, is it sweet

To be lightning on the sea

When there's no one on the shore

To stand in awe of the thunder's roar

Oh my god what have I done

What will this formless void become

How many beautiful things can I see

Before whatever’s left of me

Fades

Miller's Planet

Can you feel my thoughts
Dancing all around you?
I can't make them stop

It seems there's nothing I can do

They keep me up at night

Like rain drops on a tin roof

Together they're a song

Almost as beautiful as you

You are the black hole
Towards which all my planets spin

Ever swirling into you

My favorite way to end

So let's begin

Just pull me in

Version of You

Hello, scared and helpless child

I know that it's been quite a while

I'm here because I know your pain

You can't escape what you still contain

It's always in these lonely moments

When you're feeling lost and wholly hopeless

You come to meet the one who saved you

The heart that held the pain that made you

(Who you are, more than scars)

You did only what you knew to do

But what didn't kill you still pierced through

You held the shield that hurts to hold

Purchased safety with a bit of your soul

Though now it feels like the end is near
One day this path will be crystal clear
You'll always have what is always true
You get to be this version of you

(You survived, you're alive, And you're so damn strong) 

If You Like Me (9 Tokens)

Girl behind the screen
I see you in my most terrifying dreams
Where the smile on your face
Brings light into my darkest place

The world is a beautiful place
Even more so since I came across your page
I wish I wasn't so afraid
But you made me feel strong and brave

Sorry I didn't come by
I wrote this poem to tell you why
I felt the undertow
The sweetest currents pulling me below

Maybe I should've just let myself drown

3-2-1 Gotta' Blast

This is the empty moment where I used to stop and pray
It's there as a reminder that I'm helpless every day
My instincts tell me something that the past has proved untrue

Everyone you show up for will do the same for you

I say nobody knows me but I'm the one who set the scene
The world outside is watching only what I let them see
Apparitions passing by floating careless through my life
Blurry photo in my phone they don't even try to hide

Do you believe me when I say I'm fine?

I'm gonna' be alright

I'm frozen by the choices I'm still choosing not to make
I'm haunted by the ghosts of the chances I don't take
So drown me in the river that was supposed to cleanse me
Until I find my way again I'll stick to just pretending

Do you believe me when I say I'm fine?

I'm gonna' be alright