Whispers

There was a demon in my head
I could not point you to its start
Though now its vengeful spirit's dead
These faint whispers won't depart

A flood of voices speak the truth

Of the facts I should believe

Yet louder are the baneful few

Who trace the lies I can't unsee

They hang like echoes, the words you said

When did I give them power?

Though not the demon in my head
You still make the whispers louder

I grasp for substance, the strength to seize

Ever choking on these lessons
So why make time for enemies
In my swiftly passing seconds?

More Reasons

I used to be someone's favorite cup

Did I break because I was weak or because I was dropped?

It doesn't seem to matter anymore

Now that I am just shards of wet glass on the kitchen floor

Sweep me away before someone gets hurt

To rest in my place among the crumbs and the dirt

What you didn’t say, but I know you meant

There are plenty more cups, and a million more men

Alone in the Discord Channel

Pass through my tired bones
Unbelonging sting
I used to feel alone
With all the good you didn't bring

Wash over my whole form
Caring's mellow curse
You used to keep me warm
Now getting warmer just feels worse

Teach me of your danger
Blood flowing through the fountain
I will learn your very nature
I will climb you like a mountain

Face me empty captor
Useless pain that drains my soul
I'll hold the peace that I am after
Once I have known you whole

Oasis

Mental contract

 I've said hello, I can't take it back

  And now you've shown me that I cannot be
   Anything but your idea of me

Tethered being

 I can't interpret what I'm feeling

  I let it hurt, because I let it be
   Is it so wrong to want to see

Something easy

 My wasted efforts never pleasing

  Yet here I am just like before
   My eager blood spilled on the floor

Nearly broken

 An aging beast in an empty ocean

  Writhing in the stinging wind
   I did not want to do this again

Nearly stasis

 I suffer on towards the next oasis

  While in my mind, the likely conclusion
   That I'm inching towards the next illusion

Perfect Balance Cheat Code

All these days that I rest in my grave before my time

Every hour passing unused, unkind

I struggle against these ropes but don't untie me

Don't come find me

The days are slow, but these weeks they won't stop winding

Every doubt and every shame keeps on reminding

That I'm still waiting for some moment but it's never timely

Don't come find me

Every mountain's just a hill that I don't feel like climbing

I try to blame it on the pills but I'm probably lying

I can't sleep these years away but I'm happier when I'm trying

Don't come find me

Vile

Drained is the liar
With his endless rolling tires
  Vile is the wire
  There's no trial, only fire

Renewed is the sayer
The dirt beholds his prayer
  Vile is the layer
  That sits beyond the flayer

(Have fun starting over, dumbass)

How I Really Feel

I met a camgirl
We talked about anime
I ran out of coins
But she talked to me anyway
I know its not like that
But I checked my messages every day
When she finally sent one
it said "Let's have some fun today"

I'm just an idiot

I feel so out of place

How did I get here?

How do I escape

That's how I really feel 

I went out for a drive
It felt nice to be away
I spend my life in a screen
I spend my years in a day
With all of these almost friends
Who pretend that they see me
Or do I keep them at arm's length
So they don't see me bleeding?

I am so stupid

I know what not to think

But my brain goes on any way

All the way to the brink

That's how I really feel