I, the weary, beside you knelt
And pled with death to hold you back
Now I, the lost, know how you felt
Now that my brightest star turned black
5.05.2023
4.11.2023
Whispers
There was a demon in my head
I could not point you to its start
Though now its vengeful spirit's dead
These faint whispers won't depart
A flood of voices speak the truth
I could not point you to its start
Though now its vengeful spirit's dead
These faint whispers won't depart
A flood of voices speak the truth
Of the facts I should believe
Yet louder are the baneful few
Who trace the lies I can't unsee
They hang like echoes, the words you said
They hang like echoes, the words you said
When did I give them power?
Though not the demon in my head
You still make the whispers louder
You still make the whispers louder
I grasp for substance, the strength to seize
Ever choking on these lessons
So why make time for enemies
In my swiftly passing seconds?
So why make time for enemies
In my swiftly passing seconds?
3.01.2023
More Reasons
I used to be someone's favorite cup
Did I break because I was weak or because I was dropped?
It doesn't seem to matter anymore
Now that I am just shards of wet glass on the kitchen floor
Sweep me away before someone gets hurt
To rest in my place among the crumbs and the dirt
What you didn’t say, but I know you meant
There are plenty more cups, and a million more men
2.19.2023
Alone in the Discord Channel
Pass through my tired bones
Unbelonging sting
I used to feel alone
With all the good you didn't bring
Wash over my whole form
Caring's mellow curse
You used to keep me warm
Now getting warmer just feels worse
Teach me of your danger
Blood flowing through the fountain
I will learn your very nature
I will climb you like a mountain
Face me empty captor
Useless pain that drains my soul
I'll hold the peace that I am after
Once I have known you whole
Unbelonging sting
I used to feel alone
With all the good you didn't bring
Wash over my whole form
Caring's mellow curse
You used to keep me warm
Now getting warmer just feels worse
Teach me of your danger
Blood flowing through the fountain
I will learn your very nature
I will climb you like a mountain
Face me empty captor
Useless pain that drains my soul
I'll hold the peace that I am after
Once I have known you whole
12.18.2022
Oasis
Mental contract
I've said hello, I can't take it back
And now you've shown me that I cannot be
Anything but your idea of me
Tethered being
I can't interpret what I'm feeling
I let it hurt, because I let it be
Is it so wrong to want to see
Something easy
My wasted efforts never pleasing
Yet here I am just like before
My eager blood spilled on the floor
Nearly broken
An aging beast in an empty ocean
Writhing in the stinging wind
I did not want to do this again
Nearly stasis
I suffer on towards the next oasis
While in my mind, the likely conclusion
That I'm inching towards the next illusion
I've said hello, I can't take it back
And now you've shown me that I cannot be
Anything but your idea of me
Tethered being
I can't interpret what I'm feeling
I let it hurt, because I let it be
Is it so wrong to want to see
Something easy
My wasted efforts never pleasing
Yet here I am just like before
My eager blood spilled on the floor
Nearly broken
An aging beast in an empty ocean
Writhing in the stinging wind
I did not want to do this again
Nearly stasis
I suffer on towards the next oasis
While in my mind, the likely conclusion
That I'm inching towards the next illusion
11.22.2022
Perfect Balance Cheat Code
All these days that I rest in my grave before my time
Every hour passing unused, unkind
I struggle against these ropes but don't untie me
Don't come find me
The days are slow, but these weeks they won't stop winding
Every doubt and every shame keeps on reminding
That I'm still waiting for some moment but it's never timely
Don't come find me
Every mountain's just a hill that I don't feel like climbing
I try to blame it on the pills but I'm probably lying
I can't sleep these years away but I'm happier when I'm trying
Don't come find me
11.15.2022
Vile
Drained is the liar
With his endless rolling tires
Vile is the wire
There's no trial, only fire
Renewed is the sayer
The dirt beholds his prayer
Vile is the layer
That sits beyond the flayer
(Have fun starting over, dumbass)
With his endless rolling tires
Vile is the wire
There's no trial, only fire
Renewed is the sayer
The dirt beholds his prayer
Vile is the layer
That sits beyond the flayer
(Have fun starting over, dumbass)
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